There are plenty of movies with dogs in them but not as many that have Dachshunds. Why are there so few movies with the cutest dog known to man? But we can dream, right? Which is why we are taking a look at a few movies that would be so much better if there was at least one Dachshund as part of the cast.
Pride and Prejudice (2005)
This movie is a cinematic masterpiece and, in my opinion, the best of the best when it comes to Pride and Prejudice adaptations. The only thing that could make it better is if, while Lizzie was walking through the countryside, she had a little Dachshund following her around.
And imagine if her Dachshund follows Mr. Darcy around and she cannot figure out why her loveable dog would want to be near such a disagreeable man. Mr. Darcy would either give the dog all his attention because it’s Elizabeth’s dog or he would look at it with his usual stern expression. It would be marvelous!
The Old Guard
The Old Guard follows a group of immortal mercenaries who are exposed and must fight to keep their identity secret from the rest of the world. A Dachshund would be a perfect addition to this group. An immortal dog! What’s better than that?! A dog that never dies! If only this could be a reality.
Dachshunds need to be in more movies
Also, a little Dachshund could fight and get into small places the rest of the team couldn’t. They are both cute and ready for action. And as long as they get treats every now and then, they are happy.
John McClane may have been able to defeat the German terrorists on his own, but what if he had a little Dachshund sidekick? Although, the dog needs to have little booties or shoes because they cannot have glass in their little footpads.
Or imagine if Sgt. Al had a little Dachshund in his police car and it was able to make its way up to John McClane to deliver messages. Hans Gruber is not going to suspect a little dog of being in on the scheme.
The Devil Wears Prada
Miranda Priestly did have a dog in The Devil Wears Prada but imagine if she had a little Dachshund in a Gucci sweater or a Dior dress? It would have added a whole other layer to her character.
And maybe we would have known more about Miranda’s soft side if she had a little dog following her around the office and during fashion shows. It would be amazing to see a little Dachshund in a mini dress and sunglasses sitting on the side of the runway.
Superhero movies need to up their dog game. Where are the dogs?? Batman has no dog (in the movies, the comics are another story). Captain America has no dog. Wonder Woman…no dog! What is going on? But if there is anyone who needs a dog, it’s Robert Pattinson’s Batman, and what better dog than a Dachshund?
Imagine he comes back from a night of crimefighting, gets into his emo sweatpants, and snuggles with his miniature Dachshund. Alfred can take care of the dog when he’s not around so Bruce doesn’t even have to worry about picking up surprises around the mansion.
And they obviously have to make a little bat mask for the dog as well. It’s only right!
What movies would you love to see Dachshunds in? Let us know in the comments below!