NHL teams as dog breeds: The complete list of hockey dogs

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Tampa Bay Lightning

COLUMBUS, OH – APRIL 16: Steven Stamkos #91 of the Tampa Bay Lightning controls the puck in Game Four of the Eastern Conference First Round during the 2019 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs against the Columbus Blue Jackets on April 16, 2019 at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images)

NHL teams as dog breeds? Jillian Fisher has you covered if you’ve ever wondered about these two concepts that go together like chocolate and peanut butter.

YouTuber and humorist Jillian Fisher delightfully skewers hockey culture with her videos, but they’re accurate for the most part. Last week she decided to classify NHL teams as dog breeds – did her picks find the net?

As far as we know, Fisher is not related to former Senators and Predators center Mike Fisher, the husband of country singer Carrie Underwood.

Dog O’Day gives our take on her picks and if we can think of any better ideas.

Eastern Conference – Atlantic Division

We’re not entirely convinced that the Eastern Conference divisions weren’t selected at random, because they make zero geographical sense, unlike the West, which is fairly geographically accurate. But anyway, onto Jillian’s picks…

Boston Bruins – Boston is represented by the Bulldog, because Jillian says that while they’re athletically successful, they always look miserable, which explains why New England sports fans can be difficult to get along with.

Just considering the city, shouldn’t the Bruins have gotten the Boston Terrier? This is a no-brainer…

Buffalo Sabres – Buffalo is represented by the Golden Retriever; since they are “pretty but kinda doofy.”

We sort of forgot the Sabres existed, and wish they would go back to their black, red and silver color scheme of the late 1990s. But at least Goldens match the team colors.

Detroit Red Wings – The Motor City is represented by the Giant Schnauzer, because they are “alert and trainable,” which is accurate, given the success and reputation of Detroit.

There isn’t anything we can think of to add here, except that Giant Schnauzers have no problem growing playoff beards.

Florida Panthers – Florida is represented by the Pembroke Welsh Corgi, because they’re cute and try hard, but are impossible to take seriously.

Their redesign several years ago was a massive downgrade, and it’s hard to justify a hockey team in Miami. Still, Corgis are pretty adorable, and we want to see one on skates now.

Montreal Canadiens – Montreal is represented by the Poodle, because they’re both snooty and pretentious.

This is accurate, and ties into the French heritage as well.

Ottawa Senators – Ottawa is represented by the Great Dane, due to the effort required to raise such a large breed – it’s not for everyone.

While Rookie the Sens Pup would disagree with Jillian’s choice here, some franchises do require a lot of effort to love. (Like the Oklahoma City Thunder.) Maybe a Chinese Crested Dog would go better here.

Tampa Bay Lightning – Tampa is a Doberman, because while they get a bad reputation as fearsome, they’re pretty sweet and not overly threatening. Since the Lightning have been a playoff favorite for the past several years, only to lose in the first round, this is mean but fair.

While Bolt probably feels slighted, we love Dobermans, and wish Tampa Bay would go back to the black and silver color scheme.

Toronto Maple Leafs – Toronto is a German Shepherd because they are “smart but neurotic.”

The pieces have been there the past few seasons, they just haven’t been able to fit together. It’s a good pick.

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